Is there anything worse than the sound of an English brass band?

Well according to the Observer Sports Monthly magazine there is – the ubiquitous South African, Vuvuzela.

Blaring out

And if you haven’t a clue what one of these looks like, let alone sound like, you soon will.

If England do manage to get to the World Cup Finals in South Africa next year (or possibly with a miracle, any other Home Nation team), then you can be sure all you will be hearing (with the exception of over hyped expectations of success from Garry Lineker and friends) will be the sound of this multi-coloured plastic horn, blaring out from your television set.

...a four year old child sticking an electric toothbrush in your ear at 6.00am in the morning after a night out on the beer – for one and a half hours non stop4BR

Food processor

The Vuvuzela makes a noise that has been described as sounding like several thousand cheap food processors all on at once – or, a four year old child sticking an electric toothbrush in your ear at 6.00am in the morning after a night out on the beer – for one and a half hours non stop….

Not nice then…

Noisy

FIFA President, Sepp Blatter has been quoted as saying: "It is what African and South African football is all about — noise, excitement, dancing, shouting and enjoyment. When we go to South Africa, we go to Africa. It is noisy. It is something else than in the rest of the world."

Not nice

Spanish international footballer Xabi Alonso though is rather less enthusiastic at the thought: "That trumpet? It is not nice. I think FIFA should ban it. It’s not really distracting, but it’s not a nice sound to hear."

Roy Keane

The Observer magazine though, put the foot in, studs up, rather like Roy Keane at his best: "The noise from this plastic trumpet is even more annoying than the output of the England fan’s brass band."

Ouch! You have been warned…