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4BR in numbers

With Christmas fast approaching – here are a few festive numbers – some true – some that could be true, to ponder over as you start your Christmas packing of prezzies…

4BR
 

415 – the number of telephone calls Band Managers will have made over the festive period trying to get bandsmen out doing a bit of fund raising carolling.

413 — the number of different excuses made by bandsman trying to get out of doing it.

236 – the number of unreturned band jackets from guest players to bands after they have ‘helped out’ after concerts.

1 – the number picked out of the hat at the draw for the National Finals by Grimethorpe’s and Black Dyke at the British Open this year.

3758 – the number of times the word schardenfreude was used to describe the feelings of the players from other bands on hearing the news.

17658 – the number of extra quick Nurofen tablets taken by bandsmen and women on the Sunday morning at Pontins.

26 – the number of fancy dress costumes already booked by bands as part of their ‘comedy’ routines for the forthcoming Butlins Mineworkers Contest.

17658 – the number of extra quick Nurofen tablets taken by bandsmen and women on the Sunday morning at Pontins4BR

87 – the number of MDs who wished their former bands ‘the very best in the future’ after getting the sack this year.

87 – the number of MDs who genuinely meant it.

127 – the number of players from outside the UK who will be signed to play for top section contenders at major contests, only to return to their original bands within 24 hours of actually playing on stage.

15 – the number of conductors who will request that they be addressed as either Professor, Doctor, His Lordship, Archbishop or His Excellency Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and the Last King of Scotland, in contest programmes during 2009.

63 – the number of ‘2012 Cultural Olympic’ initiatives that will be found to have no mention of brass bands in them during the next 12 months.

18799 – the number of spelling mistakes highlighted on 4BR during the past 12 months.

3 – the number of truly excellent performances of ‘Pentacle’ to be heard at the Regional Championships next year.

210 – the number of times ‘Le Corsair’ will be played as an overture by Black Dyke at a concert in 2009.

0 – hopefully the number of brass bands that will go out of business during 2009 – last year saw at least 5 championship bands and many more further down the contesting tree.

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Rob Nesbitt

BSc, PG Cert. Ed.
Cartoonist , illustrator, writer


               

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